playpen balls

If It Gives You Joy

The nerdy ramblings of a teenage fangirl

Happy Birthday Emily!
playpen balls
To my lj friends: sorry I'm posting something after so long, only to bring you something that is probably relevant to exactly zero of your interests!  (Like, seriously.  Please don't judge me for this.)  If I haven't mentioned it before (I think I have?) I'm on tumblr nearly all the time these days.  It's ifitgivesyoujoy, if you want to come to say hi.  :)

To Emily: Happiest of seventeenth birthdays, my dear sister!  A year ago, you commissioned this story as a gift, and I told you I would totally finish it as soon as possible.  I...didn't, obviously, because I am literally the worst.  And, well, it's not even done right now.  As you know.  But!  I did write smut, for pretty much the first time!  Just for you.  AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME.  

So yes.  I hope you enjoy this!  You're my favorite sister~

Title: falling all over myself (to lick your heart and taste your health)
Fandom: Toy Story
Pairing: Sid/Andy
Rating: R (pretty hard, not quiiiiite explicit)
Words: 4,789 (incomplete)
Warnings: None, really.  
Summary: Andy's just out of college when his mom remarries, and her new husband decides to take them all on a cruise in the Mediterranean.  He thinks it's just going to be a week or so of seeing cool cities and trying to keep sixteen-year-old Molly out of trouble - that is, until he meets Sid, the mysterious crew member who cleans their room and can't quite stop smirking in Andy's direction.  That's when things start to get interesting.  

"Let's go," Sid said, and Andy caught himself just in time to voice his agreement.Collapse )

I have an idea of where I want the story to go after this, if you're curious.  Sid and Andy keep seeing each other around the ship, making out in illicit places, almost getting caught and slowly learning more about each other.  (At one point Sid's supervisor catches him going into Andy's room on a break, and they have to pretend that he was going to fix his toilet.)  When they do try to go on another date, though, in Santorini, they get caught by the assistant cruise director in a bar.  Sid gets ordered back to the ship, and Andy is apologized to profusely.  When he finally sees Sid again, he learns that he got fired - apparently, this wasn't his first time breaking passenger-crew protocol.  Sid has to leave, giving Andy very little idea of where he might be headed - Andy, feeling horribly guilty, doesn't try to pry or find a way to contact him.  He mopes through the rest of the cruise and heads back to Ohio with his family.  

After a week or so back home, Andy is starting to think he might be over it.  Then one morning, he sees the garbage truck in his driveway, and the garbage man...well, he looks like Sid.  That's impossible, though.  Sid's probably somewhere in Europe still, finding work.  He's probably forgotten all about Andy by now.  

Later that night, Andy takes Molly out to Pizza Planet...and there Sid is, waiting by the take-out counter.  He almost doesn't go over to talk to him - almost, but Molly notices him freeze, sees who he's staring at, and practically shoves him in Sid's direction.  

The rest, you can probably imagine.  :)

WIP: Velma is a BAMF, and I don't understand my own obsession with zombies.
hanna and zombie
I assume everybody's seen the fanart of Velma and Scooby and the Mystery Machine in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse.  If you haven't, it's right here.  Well, sometime over the summer I got to thinking about it, and I started just kind of drabbling about how it could have happened.  I didn't get very far, and the project is pretty much on hold for now because I have so many other things to write, but.  I really liked what I had so far.  So I figured I would post it, and maybe getting some feedback will give me incentive to work on it?  

Anyways.  If you are interested in me turning your childhood memories into a gritty, slightly cerebral horror story, then read on.  IF YOU ARE NOT I WILL NOT TAKE OFFENSE.  

(Also I have really awful ideas for ending it.  Like.  By definition it has to get mean, but this is going to be REALLY mean.  So feel free to ignore this.  I KNOW.  IT HURTS ME TOO.)  

Here we go.  

Read more...Collapse )

~seeing my name in black and white, feels like I'm doing something right~
boom de yada
If you have that song stuck in your head now because of me, I sincerely apologize, but I couldn't think of anything more appropriate to my situation right now.  Feel free to curse me mentally as you bounce around your bedroom to Legally Blonde: The Musical.  

What happened: I just had a meeting with the wonderful woman who teaches my university writing seminar.  (The freshmen here at Brandeis have to either take a compisition course if they can't handle writing at all, or a UWS, which focuses on a specific subject that you can choose.  Mine is on American musical theater.)  It was a required meeting, so she could talk to everybody individually about the rough drafts of the essays we wrote on West Side Story.  

When I walked in, the first thing she said to me was, "Please tell me you're going to be an English major."  


She then proceeded to tell me that my essay was fabulous, but it kind of skirted around the actual prompt, and if I wanted the second person who grades our essays to pass me then I had to add in a paragraph of lyrics analysation.  Which, you know, I can do, even if I'll have to bullshit something in order to make the lyrics of "Cool" significant to my point.  That's okay because she actually told me to just bullshit something.  I swear to god, this is like having Ms Bakis as a teacher all over again, except more Australian.  I love it.  

It was just so encouraging to sit down for twenty minutes with the first person at this school who has read my writing, and be told I'm in the right place and doing the right thing.  Half the time I feel like I'm sitting in classes waiting for someone to realize that I'm not even sure how I successfully got myself into this school, and I should probably just go home.  I mean, that's totally irrational, but that's where my brain goes.  

Now, though - now I can remember today.  Because having somebody I respect tell me that I should be doing what I want to be doing with my life is so much bigger than having a high school teacher tell me I'm one of the best writers in the class.  It's kind of mind boggling, actually.  I don't quite know what to do myself.  

I guess I'll go bullshit something about those lyrics, then.  

We interrupt your afternoon to bring you DUMB THINGS ABBEY HAD BEEN DOING ON THE INTERNET, AND HOW YOU CAN TOO!  

Last night I decided to snoop around zarla's journal for a bit, and I found an entry she made featuring these two websites.  The first takes 2-5 names you give it and randomly generates a relationship map based on - I think - the spelling of the names.  It's a little bit Engrish-y, and as you can imagine is unintentionally hilarious about 90% of the time.  The second is similar - it takes 1-20 names and creates a floorplan for a house where all these people live.  It wouldn't be that interesting, except that the thing occasionally puts random people in the same bedroom, and then fills out the house with these absolutely RIDICULOUS Engrish-y rooms.  Well.  You'll see, because I MADE A BUNCH and screencapped them and now you get to see the most hilarious ones.  

Read more...Collapse )

Life Update: "No, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn. Makes it all so much more enjoyable."
badass tulio
Today, I was more charming and chatty than I think I have ever been in my life.  People here are so friendly - you don't even have to try, you just have to sit alone somewhere and look nice enough, and somebody will come over and introduce themselves.  It's been fun, and I've met some really cool people, but it's also felt kind of weirdly impersonal - I'm sure I've talked to at least fifteen people today that I will never have a conversation with again.  

Then again, maybe I will.  

I'm feeling generally kind of peopled-out, which sucks because this is still day one of orientation.  I'm kind of anxious to start getting into my normal schedule and figure out who I'm going to be seeing in a regular basis.  I mean, I'm all for random socialization, it's been okay, but routine is my friend.  Routine will keep me from moments like the one during the academic fair before the opening ceremonies this morning, where I found out my parents wouldn't make it to the ceremonies and I started silently freaking out and wishing more than anything that I could go home and crying a little bit.  

Yeah.  The day could really only go up from there, and it did.  I even got lost and got myself unlost without a breakdown.  Which is a big deal.  For me.  

- There's a social justice-y club here called the Justice League, which I might join just because of their display featuring the actual DC Justice League.  It gave me the opportunity to talk about my love of Batman, which was maybe the best conversation I had all day.  
- The orientation leaders did some pretty hilarious skits about campus safety, and gave us some wonderful dining hall-related euphenisms like "let her swipe my card" and "sneak her into my kosher section."  
- I got to see my mom for five minutes.  She brought my new jeans, which are now hemmed.  It's funny how much better a day can get when you have just one moment of something or someone familiar.  
- Talked on the phone with happybecca!  See comment about familiarity above.  

- Got lectured on partying and alcohol and drugs, and realized that I'll have to contend with people who do that stuff more than I realized.  Not that I'm opposed to hanging out with people who do that, just that I hope I can find people who will hang out with me sober.  It's just really, really not my thing.  
- My roommate was up past one AM talking with a friend of hers last night, and I couldn't really sleep well anyways, and I've just been dead tired all day.  I'm actually surprised I managed to stay as calm as I did, considering my fatigue levels.  
- I probably look kind of antisocial for not wanting to go to Casino Night tonight, but I am just desperately in need of a recharge.  

All in all, generally positive first day.  I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon enough.  Right now, though, I miss my friends, and I miss my family, and I miss my house, and I have zero comfort zones constructed on campus.  Bah, college is hard already, and I haven't even started classes.  

NPR's list of Top 100 Sci Fi/Fantasy
Other people are meme-ing this list, so I thought I would, too!  But I'm changing the meme to reflect my special (read: incredibly lazy) relationship with reading books.  The ones I've read are striked, the ones I own/am in the middle of/really mean to read evenutallly are in bold, and the ones I know I want to read but haven't tracked down yet are in italicised.  Oh, and the ones I'd recommend are starred.  


1. The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien* (actively reading this one, LOVING IT)

2. The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams*

3. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card* (even though the author is a dick) 
4. The Dune Chronicles, by Frank Herbert
5. A Song Of Ice And Fire Series, by George R. R. Martin

6. 1984, by George Orwell

7. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury
8. The Foundation Trilogy, by Isaac Asimov

9. Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley

10. American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

11. The Princess Bride, by William Goldman *
12. The Wheel Of Time Series, by Robert Jordan

13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
14. Neuromancer, by William Gibson

15. Watchmen, by Alan Moore *

16. I, Robot, by Isaac Asimov
17. Stranger In A Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
18. The Kingkiller Chronicles, by Patrick Rothfuss

19. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut *
20. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley
21. Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, by Philip K. Dick

22. The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood

23. The Dark Tower Series, by Stephen King  (my dad loves it, I figure I should probably pick it up)
24. 2001: A Space Odyssey, by Arthur C. Clarke
25. The Stand, by Stephen King
26. Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
27. The Martian Chronicles, by Ray Bradbury
28. Cat's Cradle, by Kurt Vonnegut

29. The Sandman Series, by Neil Gaiman

30. A Clockwork Orange, by Anthony Burgess
31. Starship Troopers, by Robert Heinlein
32. Watership Down, by Richard Adams
33. Dragonflight, by Anne McCaffrey
34. The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert Heinlein
35. A Canticle For Leibowitz, by Walter M. Miller

36. The Time Machine, by H.G. Wells

37. 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, by Jules Verne
38. Flowers For Algernon, by Daniel Keys

39. The War Of The Worlds, by H.G. Wells
40. The Chronicles Of Amber, by Roger Zelazny
41. The Belgariad, by David Eddings
42. The Mists Of Avalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley
43. The Mistborn Series, by Brandon Sanderson
44. Ringworld, by Larry Niven
45. The Left Hand Of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin

46. The Silmarillion, by J.R.R. Tolkien (do I dare?)
47. The Once And Future King, by T.H. White

48. Neverwhere, by Neil Gaiman  (it's kind of sad how many Neil Gaiman books I haven't finished.  I love you Neil, I swear <3)
49. Childhood's End, by Arthur C. Clarke
50. Contact, by Carl Sagan
51. The Hyperion Cantos, by Dan Simmons

52. Stardust, by Neil Gaiman
53. Cryptonomicon, by Neal Stephenson

54. World War Z, by Max Brooks
55. The Last Unicorn, by Peter S. Beagle
56. The Forever War, by Joe Haldeman
57. Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
58. The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant, The Unbeliever, by Stephen R. Donaldson
59. The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold
60. Going Postal, by Terry Pratchett
61. The Mote In God's Eye, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
62. The Sword Of Truth, by Terry Goodkind

63. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

64. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell, by Susanna Clarke  (picked it up used for like three dollars, forgot I had it for a long time)
65. I Am Legend, by Richard Matheson
66. The Riftwar Saga, by Raymond E. Feist
67. The Shannara Trilogy, by Terry Brooks
68. The Conan The Barbarian Series, by R.E. Howard
69. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb
70. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger
71. The Way Of Kings, by Brandon Sanderson

72. A Journey To The Center Of The Earth, by Jules Verne
73. The Legend Of Drizzt Series, by R.A. Salvatore
74. Old Man's War, by John Scalzi
75. The Diamond Age, by Neil Stephenson
76. Rendezvous With Rama, by Arthur C. Clarke

77. The Kushiel's Legacy Series, by Jacqueline Carey*  (it's so dense and complicated I have to read it in little spurts, but I love it)
78. The Dispossessed, by Ursula K. LeGuin
79. Something Wicked This Way Comes, by Ray Bradbury

80. Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
81. The Malazan Book Of The Fallen Series, by Steven Erikson
82. The Eyre Affair, by Jasper Fforde
83. The Culture Series, by Iain M. Banks
84. The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart
85. Anathem, by Neal Stephenson
86. The Codex Alera Series, by Jim Butcher
87. The Book Of The New Sun, by Gene Wolfe
88. The Thrawn Trilogy, by Timothy Zahn
89. The Outlander Series, by Diana Gabaldon
90. The Elric Saga, by Michael Moorcock
91. The Illustrated Man, by Ray Bradbury
92. Sunshine, by Robin McKinley
93. A Fire Upon The Deep, by Vernor Vinge
94. The Caves Of Steel, by Isaac Asimov
95. The Mars Trilogy, by Kim Stanley Robinson
96. Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle
97. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis

98. Perdido Street Station, by China Mieville
99. The Xanth Series, by Piers Anthony
100. The Space Trilogy, by C.S. Lewis

Ahaha, fail.  XD Please somebody be as bad at this as I am.  

home is behind, the world ahead, and there are many paths to tread...
playpen balls
I am not a city person.  I learned this two days ago.  

It baffles me that I couldn't have figured out where I preferred to be before now, but I guess I just never really thought about it.  All I know is that I went on vacation with my family, and I spent the majority of two weeks wandering around big international cities and seeing beautiful buildings and learning interesting things, and I was exhausted every day but mostly content...

And then we went to Iceland, and everything changed.Collapse )

boom de yada
 Guess who wrote her first Lord of the RIngs fic?  I did!  Aren't you proud of me, flist?  I KNEW YOU WOULD BE.  

A warning: since I have not read very much of the books at all yet (I'm working on it!), this probably steps on the toes of everything that is canon.  Also, it takes place in the alternate universe where at the end Frodo never leaves Middle Earth, and Sam doesn't marry his beard, but I suppose you could probably pretend it doesn't because it's mostly Merry/Pippin-centric.  DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D DO THAT THOUGH.  Oh, and it avoids the question of homosexuality and the acceptance thereof in hobbit society, instead opting for the SURE WHY NOT approach.  It's mostly meant to be a crack fic anyways.  Just a bit of fluff to make the world a better place.  

Title: One Does Not Simply Walk Into Marriage
Pairing: Merry/Pippin, Sam/Frodo if you stand on your head and squint
Rating: T for implied sexytimes, I suppose
Summary: Planning a wedding is hard.  Pippin can't sit still for five minutes, much less the hours and hours it takes to prepare a proper ceremony.  Still, there are some things that are more fun to arrange than others.  
Dedication: To the breathtakingly gorgeous and disarmingly witty lyricalecho , who watched Two Towers with me at eight o'clock in the morning and held my hand and gave me glorious ideas even sillier than this one.  Darling, I am thrilled to have you at my side for all this LOTR fangirling.  You make my life an adventure.  <3

All of Hobbiton buzzed with the news not one hour after it was decided.Collapse )

Things That Are Problems In My Life Right Now
benvolio mercutio
 In no particular order.  This is all fandom-related, and it'll jump around a lot - you might even be interested in some of it.  

1. Katelyn Tarver.  Ever since I downloaded her EP and became obsessed with Favorite Girl and Better (which apparently doesn't exist on the internet beyond iTunes), I've been referring to her as my Imaginary Girlfriend Katelyn Tarver.  I already knew she was gorgeous and adorable, but that voice and those lyrics, holy god am I in love.  I don't have much more to say on the matter, and if you've follow my tumblr you've already seen too many pictures of her, but this has been my mental state over the past few days.  A constant state of ffffffffffjaskdaslkdjfaljdfKATELYN.  

2. Slash-corrupted Childhood Cartoons.  Two in particular, actually, that are becoming problems.  The first is that I accidentally stumbled across some Toy Story 3 fanart of Sid seducing Andy, and my brain latched onto it and I've been drabbling it and shit this pairing is so dysfunctional and unhealthy but it makes a damn good story.  I'm hooked.  You might even see a oneshot of that soon.  The second happened today, when I saw a gif of Tommy and Chuckie from Rugrats and I realized that I have future!shipped them for a very long time, but I never knew it until now.  This one makes me feel like I'm going to hell less, though, because it's a very sweet and innocent best-friends-falling-in-love thing, and I've spent a lot of time already meta-ing Chuckie and his issues, which are numerous, and now I just want to give the boy a hug.  <3 I mean, you watch their relationship, and try to tell me that once adolescence hits Chuckie won't fall in love and get all flaily and confused and hopeless.  And I haven't even SEEN All Grown Up.  

3. Lord of the Rings.  YES THIS IS WHAT WE IN THE BUSINESS CALL FANDOM SCHIZOPHRENIA.  Because how can I have issues about pretty tweendom girls, childhood cartoons, and epic fantasy classics at the same time?  It's actually making me worry for my sanity.  But I explained how it came about in this tumblr post, and now I am hooked.  In fact, if you'll excuse my terminology, Two Towers is actually the most direct example of Javid, Blush, and Sprace that I can think of outside of tweendom.  The Javid couple is, of course, Frodo/Sam - as Captain Obvious will tell you, these two are so canon it hurts.  And it hurts so good.  Sam is one of my favorite characters of all time, and watching him trying to save Frodo as he slips away under the ring's influence makes me want to cry.  The way they treat each other is so sweet - it's clear how deeply they've affected each other's lives.  The Blush couple is Pippin/Merry - they are Those Two Guys through and through, and while they don't necessarily need to be shipped the way Sam and Frodo NEED TO BE SHIPPED, they are adorable and close in a quirky, banter-y way that makes them fun to watch.  And then there's Legolas/Aragorn, which is subtle enough to be ignored, like any good Sprace couple, but can be inferred by a lot of little things that I really can't explain away with Close Friendship.  I think I only started thinking of them this way because they were attractive and running around giving each other significant looks, and I thought it'd be pretty damn hot.  But then there were a few scenes were I was like, okay, these two actually have a Thing.  Anyways, I'm rambling, but this movie is well done and emotionally devastating and probably the perfect movie even if you don't want to ship anything.  NOW I NEED TO GO WATCH THE FIRST AND THE THIRD.  I might even try reading them, but it is summer and I have no attention span and I might not be able to handle Tolkein right now.  Someday.  

WHEW.  There.  Now you know my issues.  THE MORE YOU KNOW ~

I promise my next entry will have puppies and rainbows and lots of slash. This entry, however...
playpen balls
 I had the most vaguely terrifying dream last night, all centered around the phrase "Black Balloon." Seriously, it was so creepy, and you probably don't want to hear any of this but I feel like I have to tell it anyways because it won't leave my brain.  

You've been warned.Collapse )


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